Updated February 3, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. You probably sat in front of a TV, wide-eyed, watching a Disney princess meet her prince. From the Cinderella narrative, you can find your perfect match, and all your problems will vanish. And the more we buy into the fairytale version of romance, the more we set ourselves up for disappointment and failure.
They come with messy moments, difficult conversations, and a whole lot of work. Disney did a great job of romanticizing love, but it also gave us some seriously skewed expectations. But real love? Real love is hard. When we expect love to feel like a fairytale, we set ourselves up for failure. In fairytales, the story ends when the couple gets together. We never see what happens after the final kiss, after the wedding, after the honeymoon.
The truth is, there is no happily ever after. The idea of happily ever after suggests that once you find the right person, everything will be smooth sailing. But real relationships are full of ups and downs, moments of doubt, and periods of growth. The challenge — and the beauty — of love is in the day-to-day commitment to keep showing up, to keep working, and to keep growing. We expect grand gestures, dramatic moments of romance, and the kind of passion that sweeps us off our feet.
Real love looks like making dinner together after a long day at work. Fairytales set us up for disappointment because they make us believe that love should be easy and glamorous. How do we break free from the fairytale trap? How do we let go of the unrealistic expectations that Hollywood has instilled in us? Real love is messy. It involves hard conversations, compromise, and sometimes, frustration.
When you embrace the messiness of love, you stop expecting perfection, and you start appreciating the beauty of imperfection. Relationships are a continuous process of growth and change. Instead of waiting for a moment when everything is perfect, focus on creating moments of happiness in the present. Redefine what romance means to you, and start finding it in the little things — a thoughtful note, a kind gesture, a shared laugh. In fairytales, the story ends with the couple happily together, and we never see them face any real challenges.
