That thought, alone, was enough for me. Then, about the same time, a well-meaning mama introduced me to the Pearls and their frightening manifestoβ To T rain Up a Child. It turned my stomach and strengthened my resolve to research this idea of gentle parenting. I found out first that there is a name for it: Positive Discipline coined by Jane Nelson.
No rewards or punishments? There are many such communities. Find one and learn. For example, Norah started defiantly I mean, really defiantly spitting on us one night. After Norah was asleep, I jumped online and asked for ideas. Turns out that lots of mamas had the same situation and they all offered the same solution! I would have never found that in a book. Toddlerease: This one only worked for a certain developmental stage between months.
I might pull it out again some other time. I do not understand why it works but as soon as I ask Norah if she needs help fill-in-the-blank , she responds almost instantly.
Playful Parenting: This one seems to come easily to me most days. An example of how this works: I ask Norah to clean up her toys. Picking up toys becomes a game. I only know I love it. Rather than put Norah in time out, we have created a comfort corner. Think of it as a coffee break spot for tots. I sometimes suggest she go there to recharge, refocus. Sometimes I go with her. Sometimes she chooses to go on her own. We never discuss unacceptable behavior in the CC; that comes later.
She decides when to come out. It is an important life skill we all needβto learn to step away and regroup. Bottom Line: The world is not a place of grace.
