Perhaps the most noticeable difference between the US and what I have experienced of the Arab world is gender relations. What strikes me the most in this regard is not the fact that most women dress more conservatively than in America; I respect these decisions to dress modestly. It is the ways in which young men and women are expected to communicate and the degrees to which they are allowed to have contact with each other.
To me, the differences are astounding. People in Amman are generally expected to not initiate contact with strangers of the opposite gender. It would appear that the only way young people can meet is through mutual friends who can vouch for high character or in a designated environment university, place of work, family friends, etc. On the other hand, cat-calls and rampant staring are routine among young men in public places where young women pass by.
This creates what in economics is referred to as a negative externality: cafes, bars, and other establishments even malls will refuse service to young men who are not with women as in couples or families.
The intentions of young men in this environment are assumed less than savory. We have the same biology, dreams, desires, and fears, but the knowledge proprietors have about the young men of their country or, perhaps put better, lack of knowledge of my culture leads them to make a rather arbitrary decision. This is particularly surprising because of the images Jordanians receive of Americans as selfish, opulent, sex-driven, and sometimes violent people thanks, MTV and Hollywood. In spite of these stereotypes being constantly transmitted, people here often assume the young men of my country subscribe to higher moral standards than the young men of Jordan.
I have just described the opposite of the customs I know in the states, where we take for granted the ability to talk to anyone we wantβregardless of sexβand when one initiates friendly banter with someone of the opposite gender, intentions are not presumed to be sinister. In fact, it is not uncommon for men and women to be simplyβwait for itβfriends. Dating between two people is not shunned by the better portion of society but instead serves as perhaps the only route to marriage. Moreover, it is considered creepy and very rude to stare at another person as they walk by, and in my city the only time I ever hear lewd cat-calls is in the wee hours of the morning as the bars begin to shoo away their patrons.
