BDSM is an intimate exchange, so it needs to come from a very trusting place. Explain to me how you define BDSM. Alina Ambrosia: Thanks to the prevalence of this subculture being popularised via books and movies like 50 Shades of Grey , it is no longer a taboo subject. If anything it is in vogue at the moment. More and more people are trying their hand at a bit of spanking, whipping and tying. BDSM varies from a gentle smack on the butt, right down to being locked in a cage under a bed in a sex dungeon.
It really comes down to personal preference, negotiation with your partner and a myriad of discussed safety rules. I started like most people do: a bit of fun kinky behaviour in the bedroom in my personal life. I had bought a set of sexy toy shop handcuffs โ which barely locked and you could force them open easily.
It was initially a joke gift for a hens party but I forgot to take them with me. They stayed by my bed until I had the genius idea of trying them out one night with a partner and voila โ I discovered I really enjoyed the feeling of power or having that power taken away.
We met at his dungeon and he spent two hours with me. In that session, I learned invaluable lessons around dungeon behaviour, etiquette, techniques and how to dominate or be the submissive. It was truly mind-blowing. I love it because it adds an exciting element to a booking. Think latex dresses, thigh-high boots, collars and cuffs. The flip side of a session is the thing that Sir Dominic taught me on day oneโฆ You can hurt, but you must also heal the person.
Do you use safe words? AB: Safety and consent is a major factor. We have safety words. People have their own variations I am sure, but these seem to be the universally accepted safe words. BDSM just requires a bit of pre-negotiation, like, what are you willing to do specifically?
