As featured on Pure Wow. Six weeks ago, I forgot my PIN and locked myself out of my account. All this is to say that we love to make excuses for our problems, especially by way of blaming circumstances supposedly outside of our control. Case in point: dating in NYC. But if you peel back the layers a little, I find the stereotypes about dating in New York are less based on reality and are more reflective of our beliefs.
Below, I examine four common claims people make and show how, if we dig a little deeper, these so-called truths are not what they seem. People flock from all over to pursue their dreams and live life exactly how they see fit within the confines of an absurd cost of living, that is. Look, we all have too much choice in general these days. We maintain emotional resilience and keep going. We rarely apply the same mind-set to our pursuit of partnership.
And that surfeit of choice? It goes both ways. Nine times out of ten, I find this to be the case with New Yorkers and their careers.
We love to peg others as being too invested in their careers and not making time for their personal lives. Be honest. Repeat that practice every night for a week and see what patterns surface. Pull out your notebook again, because now we need to touch on confirmation bias, or the tendency to search for and interpret information in a way that confirms our pre-existing beliefs.
People ghost. Then count the folks you know who met their significant other through an app. Still think the apps are hopeless? If yes, get off them and focus on meeting people in person or take a break from dating entirely.
