I had intended to do 30 days of face yoga to see whether it would tone and tighten my face, as promised by various targeted ads. But as I learned on day 1 of face yoga, I hate it. Spending minutes stretching and pinching the delicate skin of my face and neck was a disconcerting, uncomfortable experience that made me feel like human Silly Putty.
As a result, I only completed 14 non-consecutive days of face yoga. But maybe you will be one of the people who love it! Like Meghan Markle or Gwyneth Paltrow. So if the famously beautiful are into it, what is this wretched mortification of the flesh exercise all about? Face yoga is a series of exercises, massages and stretches for the face.
What they accomplish is unclear. I started seeing ads for an app called Luvly, which makes lavish promises. As part of the intake process, I answered a series of multiple choice questions about my skin, face shape, diet and motivations for doing face yoga.
On the app, every day has a theme. Much of it involved massaging the face — around the forehead, over the jawline, down the sides of the neck. Sometimes you stretch the skin away from the centerline of your face; sometimes you pinch it between two fingers. I had expected the massages to feel soothing, but I found the sensation bizarre and uncomfortable. Some of the exercises involve no touching at all.
These activities supposedly improve muscle tone and mobility. According to research: maybe a tiny bit. But who has 30 minutes a day to spend kneading their face?
