You've miscarried, gone through a major life event or loss, changed jobs, moved to a different country, had a baby or multiple, experienced birth trauma or had a surgery or gender transition, weight gain or loss, and you're finding yourself feeling disconnected from your genitals.
You feel numb. Or you feel pain. You're peeing when you don't want to. The idea of s3x and intimacy feels far away. Sure, you give yourself an orgasm every now and then, but it feels rushed, furtive or lonely. Or maybe you've gone through a change and your s3x drive is through the roof. You're looking at everything through this new light of desire. You finally feel strong enough in yourself to know exactly what you want, and your partner is just not on this level with you.
You'd love to be having s3x more, connecting more, exploring this newfound s3xuality, presence and drive, but you need someone to do it with. Apps are time consuming and you're not finding the folks you want going on random dates. Maybe you have an inkling you're queer but you've just never had a space to explore it. Maybe you've never had an orgasm, and don't know where to begin reaching one. Maybe you've not had s3x you've enjoyed in your life, or haven't had s3x at all, and you have a nagging feeling that there must be more there.
You fantasize about meeting someone you click with, who listens, who touches you gently only after asking permission, or who can help explain and show you what consensual, fun, joyful, safe BDSM play is like. Maybe you just want someone to hold you and wipe your tears and listen as you make yourself come with your vibrator and release pent up emotions and grief that seem to be locked somewhere deep in your pelvic floor.
You don't want this to be a one time experience that leaves you wanting more and unsure how to continue. You want someone who will show up for you, form a secure caring bond with you, check in about how your pleasure practice is feeling. You're a couple and you love each other, but it's just not clicking when you try to have s3x. Having kids changed things. You want to please each other but don't know how right now. Or you have a fantasy of involving a threesome but don't want to invite someone in with whom it could get emotionally messy.
