I was not the nicest person to be around, being selfish, entitled, needy⦠the whole package. My relationships, if any, never lasted more than 3 months and almost always ended up in the other person ghosting me, and since I apparently never got the message, breaking up in the worst terms possible.
So I got coaching. But then things changed for both of us. She started her own business and I was jobless, so seeing each other was hard. She ended things up, seeing how it was complicated to make it work. I had to go to therapy. I cried many nights. I gained a lot of weight. Eventually, things got a bit better. So, is there anything I can do? Am I past the point of no return? In other words, how do I get a relationship? The skills that help you find someone who is interested in a casual hook-up are the same skills that help you find someone who wants things that are more committed and more long-term.
The only real difference is in how you apply them. In fact, as odd as it may sound, the bigger issue people have is keeping things casual; more people try to create and maintain a casual, no-strings attached relationship and find themselves catching feelings by mistake. There was a point where I thought I had the perfect girlfriend, the perfect job and the perfect life.
And then in short order, I got fired from the perfect job and dumped by my perfect girlfriend. And while it sucked worse than anything had sucked before⦠when I gave myself time to heal and recover and get some perspective, I realized just how wrong I was. With time, experience and distance, not only was I able to come to terms with all of this, but I started getting to know myself better.
And while she was amazing and you had some great times⦠there are many, many women out there who are just as amazing, and who are right for who you are now. You have the skills to find your next adventure; you just have to apply them differently.
