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There had been a time when, like Witt, I approached non-monogamy with a kind of puppyish idealism. It was and terms like poly and ethically non-monogamous ENM had just begun to penetrate the mainstream β as refreshing as a cold Pepsi on a hot day. It felt like the start of something brave and new β the start of a redefinition, as Witt says.
Take year-old Kate, for example. She recently matched on Feeld with a man who was in an open relationship. He was clear about what his boundaries were, and how he hoped to bring other people, like Kate, into his life. It was refreshing, she explains, to have such a forthright conversation about what they both wanted.
Plus, she had recently found that the ubiquity of non-monogamy β if not in practice, then certainly in app bios β made it hard to avoid. That first date was fun, they shared a kiss and kept talking.
I was just lying in bed feeling reallyβ¦ I mean, it affected me, mentally. For Leanne Yau β a non-monogamy educator and founder of Poly Philia, a platform that offers digestible information on poly best practice β this is the absolute antithesis of what a poly lifestyle is meant to be about.
If anything, it is a deeply committed way to live. Personally, I feel a lot of compassion for people who are blundering their way through this new world. I spent a year in an ENM relationship doing just that β and looking back I can see myself in many of these descriptions of bad behaviour. This link redirects to a third-party website. Save this story Save. Read More. By Alexandra Jones. More From British Vogue. By Vogue.