I was tremendously happy. The trip was long, through a land marked by battles, demolished bridges, bombarded stations; we crawled along. When I arrived at Issy-les-Moulineaux, matured by so many events seen, however, from a distance, the change struck me from the first moment. Truly another life was beginning. Rabeau [his spiritual director] had the idea of gathering those under his direction in his office, which was quite contrary to the tradition of discretion with which the Sulpicians surrounded all that concerned the direction of conscience.
Finally, everything was coming back to the way it was before. We would see him happy, smiling, and proud of always having believed in de Gaulle. Since all was going better, we would all be better! My confreres, in this cramped space into which we were crammed, seemed to share his happiness and I was very careful not to say anything! Dazed, heart pounding, numb, I wondered how I would still be able to open my soul to such a monstrous spiritual father.
It was my turn, I thought, to suppress my desire to vomit! The group from Grenoble welcomed their new members and each of them was invited to introduce himself. The oldest one, a certain Peyrin, began his account after a slight hesitation.
He was from La Mure, a secretary at the town hall, and his parish priest, Fr. They were both fervent supporters of the Marshal, without being disliked by the population for this, quite the contrary. The region, however, was swarming with members of the Resistance. They made us dig our graves and had us stand with our backs to the hole in order for us to fall into it on the impact of the bullets.
I was the last. We were petrified. Peyrin, who became the parish priest of St. Martin de Vienne, throughout his life. The past ceased to be, at least as it had been. Denied or silenced under duress, falsified and quickly forgotten, it is as though it had never existed. The new masters build the future with the lies and illusions of the moment. Enne had decided to finish his apologetics course that had been interrupted by our hasty departure in June. I paid for my joy of hearing him once again with an equal dose of bitterness.
