Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own. This story originally appeared on Business Insider. This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Amber Lucas. It has been edited for length and clarity. The most important thing I had to change was the type of guys I dated.
Most of them were emotionally immature and financially irresponsible. I'd bail them out. One guy wanted money because he couldn't make rent. He couldn't afford it because he'd spend his whole salary on weed. Another guy left his rusty, old car at my home for three weeks. He couldn't afford the maintenance. It was leaking oil. He used my AAA insurance to have it towed.
Those experiences made me want to meet more stable men — someone mature who could make interesting conversation and approached relationships with a generous mindset, a man with a handle on his life. I wanted to "date up. A friend told me about the dating website Seeking. It specializes in matching "successful" and "attractive" people. I joined in August There are tiers of membership. People can post their income, net worth, and lifestyle budget when they join at the highest level.
I wanted to meet men who shared my interest in travel and exploring new things. I'm in the process of establishing my own business. I also thought it would be good to be among people who knew how to negotiate and reach targets. I hoped they'd advise or mentor me. I talked to a few guys on the site. They were mostly in their 50s. I met one, who lived in my home city of San Francisco. He was super kind and intelligent. He brought his dog to the date, which I thought was sweet.
But we didn't really see each other again. Then, in the fall, I dated an international businessman. He was 53, about 14 years older than me. We'd been on several dates when I told him that I was going on a trip to France. It's one of my favorite countries. He said he "absolutely" would like to come and asked when I was leaving. I said I hadn't bought my tickets yet. It took my breath away. In my prior relationships, I had to be independent, save up my money, and plan every last detail of a trip.
