In my heart of hearts, I believe that the universal forces of love and happiness brought me to Bela and Smart Dating Academy…but it was actually my friend and podcast co-host Sheri Salata who first introduced Bela to me. Our show was all about how two life-long friends in our mid 50s were trying to live the lives of our dreams. I had no idea what to expect when I flew from LA, where I was living at the time, to Chicago to meet Bela and her team.
It was a whirlwind summer weekend. The moment I met Bela, I fell into friendship-love. She was everything a dating coach should be — bursting with optimism and an unwavering belief that I would find my soulmate. Men are attracted to color! My online dating profile was fabulous, my photos were on point, I was coached and ready to go…but first I took a detour to heartbreak town.
I went home to Cleveland, Ohio to visit my family and unexpectedly met up with an Old Flame from high school. The class clown, bad boy, sports star, and dreamboat all wrapped up into one. He was the guy who dated all my friends, but never me. This is my happy ending. In an instant I was back into bad habits — dating the flashy narcissist who love-bombed me, with all the drama, tension, and highs and lows that come with it. Even though we fought constantly, within weeks he was making plans to move in and get married.
It was insane and impossible. Whenever I was alone, I would sit and read through my Smart Dating Academy folder, looking at my list of red flags he had all of them and Good Husband Qualities he had none of them.
So I pulled myself together and broke up with the Old Flame. A second later, he bombed me with his good news — he was in a sexy new relationship, hanging out with all my high school girlfriends, having the time of his life, never better.
